It is 8:00 AM, and a little girl is getting ready to leave for school. Suddenly the parents notice that their daughter is wearing her brand new party shoes.

“You can’t wear those party shoes to school. Go change them,” orders her mother. “And hurry, up, the car service is waiting.”

“No,” says the child. She sits down defiantly.

Dad tries a different approach. “ It would be so sad if those beautiful shoes got ruined on the playground. Please change them.”

“No, I won’t,” screams the girl and the fussing disintegrates into a full blown tantrum. The parents relent and let her wear the shoes she wants in order to get her to school on time.

This scene, or some variation of it, is repeated in households around the city. So what is the answer? What should you do if your child wants to wear inappropriate clothing to school? And what is appropriate? Does it really matter that much?

We at MCNS define appropriate clothing as clothing which is comfortable and allows children to take part in all aspects of our nursery school program. Children engage in many “messy” activities throughout the day, such as painting, gluing and water and sand play, so clothing that can be tossed into the wash is preferable.

Perhaps most importantly, children need appropriate clothing for outdoor play. They need sturdy, rubber-soled shoes to safely run and climb in the playground. And because . it can be extremely cold and windy on our terrace playground during the cold months of the year, children need gloves or mittens, warm jackets or coats, hats, and scarves. When it snows they also need snowpants, and boots. If children do not have the proper garments to play comfortably and safely in all kinds of weather, the children’s participation in outdoor play is severely compromised.

Some parents might wonder why we think it is so important for children to play outside during cold weather. The latest educational research supports our long held belief that free play outdoors is essential to their development.

Group teachers who attended the Wonderplay Conference this fall listened to speaker after speaker present findings which advocated adding more outdoor recess periods to the school day. Loosely supervised play, children playing creatively with friends, not organized sports activities, encourages collaboration, builds confidence, and critical thinking skills. It is absolutely essential for children to exercise their bodies and have an outlet for excess energy. This is especially true for boys.

So how to solve the party shoe dilemma? Compromise and let our teachers help you. Put a pair of sneakers in your child’s cubby. Let her wear the party shoes to school but remind her that the school rule is—no party shoes on the playground. The teachers will make sure that she wears the sneakers. And, while you’re at it, put an extra pair of pants, mittens, hat, scarf and hat in there too and remember to keep the change-of-clothes baskets filled.