A little boy was carefully pouring milk from a small pitcher into a plastic cup. You could see the concentrated effort in his facial expression. He had tried this task many times before with varying degrees of success. Sometimes he spilled milk on the table. Other times he overcompensated and tipped the pitcher back up too soon, resulting in a half-full cup. But this time he did it perfectly and finally achieved his goal, a full cup of milk without spilling a drop. His facial expression changed: he was radiant, his face full of pride.

“I did it myself,” he exclaimed!

When children learn to take responsibility for their everyday needs, they feel a great sense of pride. This is just one of the reasons that an important part of our curriculum at MCNS is the teaching of practical life skills. Whether it is putting away toys, setting up cots at rest time, pouring juice into their own cups or setting the table for snack, children work on both large and small motor skills, become good problem solvers by strategizing and carrying out plans, and increase social skills as they learn how to work together in a cooperative manner.

Children feel an enormous sense of accomplishment when they can do real work, work that must be done by somebody, such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of clothing. They are proud when they can do these things by themselves with no assistance from adults. In our current educational climate, which focuses on workbooks, computers, and testing, we sometimes forget how many academic skills can be learned through doing this practical kind of work.

Dr. Elisabeth Guthrie, Director of Education and Training for the Division of Child Psychiatry, watched some of the MCNS Older Group children putting away the hollow blocks in the playroom last week. She was quick to point out that they were not simply learning how to clean up after themselves. They were also, in effect, learning how to “construct” another building, one that would stay balanced so that the stack of blocks would not fall down. They were learning this together and cooperating with each other in order to achieve a successful result.

What life and academic skills can you address at home that will give your child that wonderful “I did it myself” feeling? Sorting the laundry is one good example. It is work that has to be done, and a child can learn to do it quite well. By sorting light clothes and dark clothes, for example, children not only learn basic laundering facts, but how to form two separate sets of clothing, an important mathematical concept. After the laundry is done they can match socks and sort clothes for each family member.

Kitchen work affords many opportunities for child involvement. Setting the table requires one-to-one correspondence and decision making. Children can also help cook at home as they do here in school. Cooking and baking require math and science knowledge. Measuring ingredients, noting the texture, odors, and tastes of the ingredients and seeing what happens when you mix things together or cook them afford many educational opportunities to hone academic skills. You can talk about colors, amounts, where the ingredients are found, and what tastes sweet, salty, sour or bitter. Children are more likely to eat what they helped cooked, an added bonus.

Children can help clean the house. They can learn how to sweep and dust. This takes skill, coordination, and organization. Putting away their own toys requires organizational, motor, and memory skills too.

Another important life skill area that children can master is getting dressed by themselves. Parents can help children to do this by purchasing clothing for them to wear to school that they can handle by themselves. That’s what we at MCNS call “dressing for success!” Shoes with Velcro closings make it easier for children to remove their shoes and put them back on when they play in the dramatic area or when they rest on their cots. Elasticized socks are easy to put on and don’t get twisted.

Pull-on pants with elasticized waists are much easier to put on than jeans with difficult snaps or belts or even more problematic overalls. This can prove crucial to a recently toilet-trained child racing to the bathroom to avoid an accident. It is heartbreaking to see a newly-trained three-year-old wet his pants because he couldn’t remove his belted, snapped jeans in time, even with adult assistance. Overalls can frustrate even a five year-old in the bathroom.

Jackets and sweaters that are large enough to easily slip on and off make it possible for children to dress for the playground by themselves. Children get frustrated with difficult buttons, zippers, and snaps and may give up in frustration. An easy-to-fasten jacket can bring a smile of satisfaction and pride to the face of a child who is anxious to get on line to get up to the playground.

It is important to keep in mind that there is a learning curve involved here. Children need time and opportunity to practice these skills. It will take them longer to set the table, or pour juice, or get dressed by themselves than if parents, babysitters, or teachers do it for them. They may make messes while they are learning. Children learn that some tasks take a lot of hard work to learn, and their resulting pride in their accomplishments make it all worthwhile.

Early childhood educators like to put it simply—Never do anything for a child that he can do for himself. It’s a good saying to remember. To make it possible for children to do more things by themselves at MCNS we provide a supportive physical environment. We have child-sized tables and chairs, easily accessible shelves for toys, art supplies and blocks, cubbies with hooks low enough that they can reach to hang up their coats, and even child-sized low toilets and sinks.

“You don’t have to help me anymore because I can do it myself now,” said a child to a teacher as she toileted herself and washed and dried her hands. And, with a smile on her face, she went hurried back to play.